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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/InstitutionalizedSaw on 2023-09-19 11:22:39.

Maybe I’m just in the wrong side of the internet 🥴

But I’ve been seeing creators who are very well spoken, and outwardly feminist who say they’ll never go 50/50 in a relationship again. Typically in a financial sense. While I agree with 95% of what they say, I don’t understand this one.

I get that people can set their standards, but isn’t expecting a male counterpart to provide asking them to conform to a gender role? And if they can demand certain gender roles to be fulfilled, can the male counterpart do the same?

But if a man were to expect a woman to fulfill a gender role (not for a particular reason simply because) would he get the same reception? A lot of the comments on the post were really positive save for some misogynistic comments from men (yuck) but very little actual dialogue of what this means in a broader perspective.

Of course real life is never this black and white. There are many situations where either partners can become the bread winner. Job loss, disablitiy, grief, children, health issues, etc. A true 50/50 is never possible, but my understanding of the principle of 50/50 boils down to, we will share all the burden equitably. And in my understanding of feminism, equity a cornerstone of it.

Which brings me back to my original question, why are primarily female creaters talking about expecting a male provider? If a male creater were to say the same, that they expected a partner who would do all the cooking and cleaning or all the emotional labor, would they be met with the same reception? Is there some nuance in all this that I’m missing?

P.S I am a woman and I have nothing against men or women who do things that happen to comform to gender roles.