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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Dependent_Compote528 on 2023-09-19 01:07:04.

TL;DR: AITA for asking my MOH to be a bridesmaid instead of MOH since her pregnant sister is due around my wedding and she said she’d attend the birth over the wedding if it came down to it?

I’m (30 F) getting married in early April. I don’t have any sisters so I decided my maid of honor would be my longtime best friend “Sarah”. I’ve been engaged for over a year and Sarah was so excited to help with wedding planning and cried when I asked her to be MOH. I’ve been planning to put her in a different shade of dress than my other bridesmaids so she could stand out. She already got her dress but my other bridesmaids didn’t.

Recently, Sarah’s sister “Jess” announced she’s pregnant and due a week after my wedding. Sarah and her family are understandably extremely excited as this is her first niece/nephew. I’m excited for them! They live locally and are a close family. Sarah told me in a casual way that Jess will likely be induced a week early due to a history of medical conditions and since my wedding is on a Friday and her doctor doesn’t usually do inductions on weekends, the birth could very well fall on my wedding day. Then she told me that, if that happens, she’ll have to attend the birth and not my wedding. She probably won’t be allowed in the delivery room as her sister is allowed two support people per hospital policy and will have her husband and mom, but Jess told her if they’d allow a third person, she’d be happy to have Sarah there as well, so now Sarah wants to camp out at the hospital in case that happened. I asked her if she’d consider just coming for my ceremony even if the birth fell on that day and she very firmly said no, she’s staying at the hospital even if she’s just in the waiting room. Then she laughed and said “honestly, even if the baby is born before, I don’t know if I’ll be up to attending a wedding” because she won’t want to leave the baby. I know her and Jess are close, but I doubt they’ll want her there the whole time. But that’s none of my business.

I really want a maid of honor so I’m thinking of asking Sarah to be a bridesmaid and putting my other friend as MOH. That way, if Sarah doesn’t attend I can still have a MOH. I know Sarah already paid for the dress so I would insist on paying for the new one. I broached it gently and she seemed really hurt so I ended the conversation but I’m thinking of bringing it up again. She says I don’t understand because I’m an only child and won’t be an aunt, which stung. I’m not trying to be unreasonable and I get that babies are exciting. I’m excited for her. And if her sister just happened to go into labor, I’d honestly probably be understanding. But it just feels like she’s planning not to attend my wedding.

I’m trying to be understanding; I don’t want to be a bridezilla. But this really hurts me. I know my wedding isn’t as important to everyone else as it is to me and I know that family comes first. But her nonchalant attitude about it is making me feel like she really doesn’t care.