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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Unicorn_Support7678 on 2023-09-19 12:37:55.

I (35f) have a friend with a daughter M (16f), who mentioned a while back that her daughter wanted to go to Australia. My friend and her husband cannot manage the cost of that trip on their own and talked to me about getting M’s grandparents to pay for some of the cost. Nothing ever became of it.

Fast forward a year later and my best friend’s fiance who works with a tour company is planning a trip to Australia, New Zealand and Fiji. (Sidenote: This is not the friend with the daughter.) It is a once in a lifetime trip that I cannot pass up on. So. I’m going. I’ll be booking my trip by the end of the week. It’s costing me about 10k just for myself. But, I can feasibly afford it.

I mentioned this to my friend and the first words out of her mouth was, “If I help you pay for your trip, can you take M?” My answer was no. I have several reasons for saying that. 1. This is my vacation that I’m doing to get away from worrying about everyone else. 2. I don’t want to be responsible for someone else’s child. 3. My friend’s daughter has no sense of manners at times and often acts younger than her age. For example, she will baby talk in every day conversation and other times will butt into other people’s conversations in a very condescending manner. I just don’t want to deal with all of that during my vacation.

However, I get the feeling that my saying no, didn’t go over well, as there was an immediate topic change by my friend who went to talking about all the great things M is doing right now at school.

Am I the ass for saying no?