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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Interesting-Gas-943 on 2023-09-19 22:49:33.

Pretty much the title. My younger sister is getting married. She is a content creator/infleunster/vlogger/whatever you want to call it. One time a few years ago she made a video with my kids at Disney, I gave her permission to post it. I felt really uncomfortable and violated on behalf of my kids afterwards with how many random strangers viewed and commented on my kids, even saying things like that my son is their favorite like he’s a cartoon character, and said not ever again. My sister has been respectful of this for the most part (occasionally she has tried to hint that such and such dance or prank would be so funny with them). She doesn’t spend a lot of time around our kids though, because we live in different states.

Here’s where the trouble comes in. My sister is getting married. Companies are paying her to use certain items and she is also getting discounts from some vendors. Obviously this involves quite a lot of the wedding and the lead up to it needing to be posted online.

My sister had asked that my oldest daughter (10F) be a flower girl/junior bridesmaid. Before we asked our daughter if she wants to do it we asked my sister to confirm that our daughter won’t be present in any of the wedding content she posts online.

My sister believes this is an unreasonable request. I said it’s simple, just ask the videographer and her fellow content creator friends in the party not to film daughter and take photos with and without her. But my sister feels like this will lead to things looking “weird” and “inorganic” and that it’s an unreasonable request for her videographer and her friends. We said even if he accidentally gets her they can blur her face, and it shouldn’t be that hard to avoid pointing your phone at one specific person. She disagrees, so we said then unfortunately daughter will not be participating in the ceremony.

My wife and I believe this should be easily doable and it shows that my sister at least partially wants my daughter involved simply because she wants a cute kid to be in the wedding content. However my sister is framing it as us being terrible and forcing her to “choose” between her career and our family. The thing is that as I said she’s not super close with our kids… she’s great when she’s here and it’s not like I expect a 29 year old to be overly invested with kids or anything, but it does feel pretty inauthentic to now claim they’re soooo close that it would be “heartbreaking” if daughter wasn’t in it.

I just don’t view this as having to make a hard choice. AITA?