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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/st3akkn1fe on 2023-09-20 09:23:30.

A bit of a misleading title really. However, here is my story and the situation I’m in:

I have a close friend who I’ll call Dave. Dave and I met while working on a secure ward for people with MH issues. Part of our role saw us do some community work out in local youth groups to help children with various MH issues meet each other and socialise. While we were doing this a young man i’ll call John started to attend. John is pretty independent but is very autistic. He can get around on his own but needs some support with certain things. He’s very awkward socially and you can’t really talk to him in the same way you would with a neuro typical person. This is OK if you’re working with him as obviously that’s the job.

However, socialising with him would be a pain. He doesn’t understand the lives of a typical person, he’ll make comments about young girls which are inappropriate, he’ll talk about Nintendo games and the girls in the games and refer to them as his girlfriends etc. He’s also very entitled and due to the fact he has support workers who will do stuff for him he just assumes everyone will do the same. He’ll expect a lift or to be picked up and things.

Now, Dave and I have moved on from this role. We’ve known each other about 15 years and although we met in this workplace we’ve since long left and do different things. Dave has stayed in touch with John though and will have a coffee with him from time to time.

The problem I have is that Dave and I have made plans to hang out once a month as we both agreed it had been hard to make time outside of families and things to do stuff. Dave text me today though to tell me that he’s seeing John before we meet and that John will probably come with him.

Am I the arsehole for not wanting to hang around with Dave and John? Obviously, my plan was to just catch up with a friend and just sort of shoot the shit, have a few beers or watch a movie and go home. I really don’t want to spend the time listening to John talk about which computer game character is the hottest or whatever.