This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/TowerIcy4975 on 2023-09-20 10:37:30.

My parents broke up when I (16m) was 6. There was no cheating involved. They were also never married. But my dad was always shitty to my mom. He would call her things like “dumb c***” and would tell her she was worthless. One time, right before my mom finally left him, he told her it was all her fault they were stuck together and she should have known her IUD was failing. He also taunted her that her body couldn’t even respond correctly to an IUD pregnancy and that most women’s bodies know to get rid of them.

He never said things like that directly in front of me. But he also didn’t know that kids will often hear shit they don’t want to hear. I didn’t fully get what it all meant back then. I just hated hearing my mom cry so much.

They ended up with shared custody of me after the breakup and my dad got married and started a family with his wife. My half siblings are 7, 5, 4, 2 and 4 months old. My 7 and 5 year old half siblings have asked why I go to mom’s without them and if they can go. My dad heard that one time and decided that my mom should be inviting my half siblings over and offering to babysit. This was maybe 6ish months ago and ever since he has been on her case and pressing her to meet my half siblings and invite them over when I’m home with her.

I told my half siblings they don’t get to come because they live with their mom and dad already. But I live with my mom too. Just at a different time. They were all excited and said we could all have two homes and they could come. I said no, that it didn’t work that way.

My dad and his wife didn’t explain shit to them and dad just kept pressing the issue with mom. I heard him on the phone with her and he even tried telling me that I needed to pick the 7 and 5 year old’s up from school and bring them to mom’s when I was going.

Mom tries to keep me out of it but I see the strain it puts on her. I know she has intentionally kept away from my dad and has never met the kids he has for a reason. I decided to approach my mom about it all and she was so upset that I knew. I promised her that I did not blame her and I asked if she would go back to court and get a judge to grant me permission to decide if I go to dad’s. She said she would talk to her lawyer first and then go. Her lawyer said the wording was vague but I could possibly just stop going and she wouldn’t get into trouble with the lawyer since technically the wording isn’t very strong on how long the order lasts. Mom and I agreed though that dad would probably fight it, for appearances sake more than out of love for me. The only reason I don’t just stop going now is if we can avoid court I want to, for mom’s sake.

When dad started his hit with mom two days ago I told him he needs to leave mom alone or I won’t come to his house anymore. I said she doesn’t need to take care of his other kids and he doesn’t need to harass her over it. He said I had no right to interfere in an adult issue and told me I should speak to him with more respect.

AITA?