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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/TeamContent8301 on 2023-09-20 20:35:45.

My wife is a stay at home mom and I work from home. My wife doesn’t drive so I pick up my oldest from school daily and bring them back home. We also have 2 kids too young for school.

When my oldest started, my wife and other 2 kids came along for drop off and pick up. After a few days, I said that everyone coming along for a school pickup drive is too overwhelming for me in the middle of the day of work and completely throws me off as I get out of my work mind state and go back into parenting/husband mode. For example, when I go alone, I stay in the work mindset and think to myself about what I was working on and can get back on track faster and also get to relax and listen to my own music. Most of the time I go alone I also bring my work computer and work while waiting. I absolutely cannot do this when other people are in the car as it is entirely too distracting.

While I understand my wife’s PoV that she wants to be there too for our oldest and it is a fun thing to do, we got into a huge argument when I said we cannot be doing this every day for the above reasons. Her parents are in town now from Mexico and she also want to come along too for a couple of times. I’m rightfully fucking annoyed at this point as now it is even more time away and more corralling and getting everyone ready. I’m currently biting my tongue as I don’t want to say anything in front of her parents to make them feel bad.

IMO my ability to get away from work to quickly pick up and bring my oldest home is a luxury and priority should be getting them home safely and as quick as possible so that I can get back to work and finish at a decent time. She does not understand this and is more focused on the experience for her and now her parents. I am currently sitting here typing this annoyed as fuck bringing 4 additional people on a car ride that honestly are not required to be present for the task. AITA?

Edit: She has her license after I convinced her this summer but she does not feel comfortable or confident enough driving with the kids in the car yet, which IMO is completely reasonable and likely a smart choice.

As for those saying I need to be in dad mode, I am once my kid is in the car and that is my 15 minute break. I ask them how their day was, what they did today, what they learned, etc on the drive home. However, the issue is the additional 20-ish minutes of waiting before then and during the drive.

As for the bus, my wife had some extremely fucked up experiences on the bus growing up, which is why we go this route. I fully support the no bus route with how terrible kids are with near zero supervision.