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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/ThrowawayMyDadIsBad on 2023-09-21 01:19:03.
Throwaway for privacy reasons. I (25M) left home when I was 17 because my step-father made my teenage life a living hell. Little bit of a backstory, my mom had me when she was 19 and was a single mother until I was 12. We moved from place to place for many years until she met her husband. At first, me and him got along fine. While we had different interests, we were civil with each other at the time. He pulled me aside a year after they met and after we fully moved into his condo and asked me what I would think if he proposed to my mom. At the time, I was excited! Not only would my mom have a husband, but I would finally have the father figure I was desperate for! It was after their wedding when things took a turn.
I’m not going to say everything he did to me (I don’t have enough characters for that) but here are some of the highlights:
- Took my bedroom door off of its hinges when I asked for more privacy
- Picked the lock on the bathroom door when I’m answering natures call just to yell at me that I forgot to turn off my bedroom light that morning before leaving for school
- Threatened to game over himself when mom and I yelled back at him (he was screaming in my face for burning the dinner I was cooking that night)
- Said to my face “you have no idea how much I want to wring your neck right now” because I didn’t want to go to archery practice that day because I had a date
- Took away my Christmas presents on Christmas Day when I was 14 because I slept in
There are many others but not enough spaces. When I was 15, mom got pregnant and my little sister was born 9 months later. I adore her to this day. She’s 9 now. Here is where I might be TA. One day in summer when I was 17, my step-dad and I got into a REALLY heated argument. I don’t remember what about. I begged mom to call my grandparents to come pick me up. They did with my uncle hidden in another driveway to make sure my step-dad didn’t follow us. Mom and I still kept in contact (we never talked about step-dad when her and I talked) but I went no contact with him. 8 years later we’re at the current day and mom comes to visit for a month with my little sister. A day before they made their trip back, my little sister was crying saying she didn’t want to leave because “daddy will just yell and scream again.” That was a HUGE red flag for me so I asked mom to tell me the truth as to what’s going on at home. She broke down and says he’s been treating her worse and worse ever since I left and that she’s planning an exit and divorce. 2 weeks later they’re back with all of their stuff in tow. My step-dad’s side of the family have been barraging me with messages saying it’s all my fault and I broke up a family that didn’t deserve to be. My side of the family says I was the victim, but I don’t know. I feel really guilty. If they divorced because of me wouldn’t it be my fault after all? AITA?