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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/AthenaLaFay on 2023-09-21 01:43:34.

I’m not sure what the purpose of this post is but I wanted to share it anyway.

I’ve been thinking recently about something that happened about 4-5 years ago during my first year at uni. During one of my first sexual experiences, I(23F and 18 at the time) regrettably had a ONS with a guy I met on tinder. To cut things short, the guy unexpectedly stuck his finger in my ass. I was not comfortable with this and we had not discussed doing any butt stuff. By my reaction he had the sense to ask me if it was okay and not wanting to make things awkward I stupidly said yes. Afterwards, I felt weird about what happened but tried rationalised it. Due to my inexperience I speculated that maybe that was a completely normal thing to do during sex and that once consenting to vaginal penetration you consent to everything and they don’t need to ask about anything else so as not to break “the flow”.

I think about it every now and then as I did feel a bit violated and the older I get the more I feel like he should’ve asked beforehand and the worse I feel about how I handled it at the time. On one hand, maybe he should’ve asked but on the other hand, it’s such a small unserious issue in the grand scheme of things and I was given the opportunity to state my discomfort and didn’t do so which makes me feel like I have no right to feel violated.

I’m don’t know what I’ll get from posting this. I don’t really want to make something out of nothing but I’ve never told anyone about this and wanted to know what people think of these types of situations. I recently started a new medication to treat my ADHD and I think my thoughts are clearer but they are still conflicting. I guess I’m just hoping to hear that I’m overthinking things.