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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/ButtonMcThickums on 2023-09-21 19:53:25.

As a woman who doesn’t ejaculate, doesn’t love having someone go down on me nor climax from sex alone, I’m so tired of having to educate men that we exist.

The longest relationship I’ve had in my life even called me wanting to self stimulate during sex “a production” (fastest hand in the west here, especially with a partner I’m 3 minutes tops to pop off the first one).

My last relationship I would just wait until he was asleep to finish myself off, barring the one time he awoke and behaved as if I was some deviant for also desiring an orgasm.

That was 3 years ago, I’ve been purposefully single until a few months ago.

I’ve been on several dates with 3 people (1 woman, 2 men), one of them reached the point of us deleting apps and becoming intimate. He is a Pastor, a physically substantial man and I did wonder if he faces issues with ED. Over the course of a few conversations it turns out he struggles to achieve erections period and his basic offering at the throne of physical intimacy is oral and fisting. He then proceeded to clown around and blatantly try to make me feel as if I’m some enigma for not loving oral and for not being open at all to being busted open as it were. Same with the not ejaculating, he was laughing incredulously and musing if I’m being for real right now.

I’m just tired boss.

I’ve been on a sabbatical from apps for about 2 months now.

I know decent men who at least know how to Google inquiries exist, I’ve had relationships with 2, but I’m struggling to find the emotional resilience to face these basic men. My last long term relationship I overlooked our sexual incompatibility but I’ve accepted it’s just too important to me. Physical intimacy is one of my favourite things in life and I do want to find my best friend to kick it with through life.

Advice? Camaraderie? Thoughts?

Imagine being sexually and romantically interested in a sex other than your own and not educating yourself on them.

I’ve only had one long term relationship with a woman (despite my first relationship and sexual experiences being with a woman as a teen) and you bet I was doing a lot of reading.