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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/xpromanon on 2023-09-22 06:47:47.

throwaway for privacy reasons for everyone involved.

So this happened to me (19 F) last spring, but I’m still getting shit for it so I need to see if I was actually TA in this situation.

Last spring, I was a senior in high school. I was in a class called “Mentor Study” where I was assigned a couple of disabled students to help with homework/classwork/give life advice… etc.

Anyway, there was a boy in this class that I mentored that I’ll call “James”. James is intellectually disabled ( I won’t say with what for privacy). But beyond that he’s a super sweet and friendly guy that I had become friends with since the spring semester started. Anyway, fast forward to April, people started getting asked out to prom. A few weeks prior, I had already agreed with a friend group of mine to go with this one particular guy. We didn’t tell anyone because he wanted to plan an elaborate “promposal” of sorts later.

one day James comes towards me, with a bunch of teachers and assistants, holding a sign that said “Will you be my prom date?” holding balloons, and he was also holding a box of donuts. I smiled, and went up to him and said I was flattered, but I had already agreed to go with another guy. He was super understanding about it, and said we could share the donuts later in class. However it was super awkward as the TA’s and teachers awkwardly smiled at each other and patted James on the back as he headed back down the hallway

Later that day, I started getting a lot of nasty stares in the hallway, and a few friends and acquaintances in school started telling/texting me that I was a A-hole and a bitch for telling him no because “he was disabled” and that I was ruining his high school experience. I just told them that I already planned to go with someone else, and that I wasn’t going to “pity” James by going with him just because he was disabled. That semester, I had basically been cast out as the “major bitch” of the school, and a campaign started for a bunch of girls to escort him to the prom. Memes and everything had been made of me online. I had to deactivate my Instagram due to the amount of hate I received

My issue is, I don’t think I treated James any differently than any other guy that would have asked me to prom after I already had plans, and didn’t see it any differently. It would feel weird and gross to agree only because he has a disability. But apparently my school seems to disagree. despite this, James and I both agreed in class that this awkward encounter wasn’t a big deal, and we are still friends to this day, even though now I am in college. I am still getting shit for this to this day… so I wanted to ask AITA? should I have reacted differently or taken him to prom regardless? He did end up going to prom by the way… by the group of girls who started the petition to escort him.