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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Far_Spend_4679 on 2023-09-22 10:02:14.

I (17M) have a strained relationship with my dad. I moved in with my maternal grandparents almost 2 years ago now and our relationship, mine and dad’s, only got worse after it. A few weeks ago he asked me to go to therapy with him because he wanted to fix things. I was skeptical but agreed to go. My grandparents encouraged me to try but also said if I wanted to end therapy at any time they would support me because they know how my dad can be.

The background will probably be helpful first. My mom died when I was only a baby. Dad dated some when I was little but I don’t remember many of them. There was one who was really nice and I liked her a lot. He was single for a while when I was about 8 and then when I was almost 10 he met the woman who would become his wife, Gwen. Gwen was a single mom who was in the middle of a bitter divorce and she had a daughter, Katie, who was almost 2. My dad moved them in really fast because he wanted to help Gwen with her ex. But that meant life for me changed in so many ways.

Her ex was a dick. He was arrested several times. He would show up at the house and yell and curse and cause a scene. I was no longer allowed to have friends over or go to friends houses or hang out with my friends after school because dad wanted me “home” where he knew what was happening. He sold the house and downsized so they could go to court and try to get the ex’s parental rights severed to Katie. Which meant as a 10 year old boy I was sharing a room with a 2 year old girl who was very new to me.

We moved around a lot to try and avoid the ex. I was 12 when learning disabilities were brought up for me and an amazing teacher realized years of struggling with had a reason. I was supposed to go for an assessment and my dad had a meeting with someone who told him it would be in my best interest to have stability as far as school was concerned, so I could have the best chance at learning and achieving my best. But we still moved a lot.

I resented the hell out of all of this. To me Gwen and Katie were never worth all this turmoil. And when I was 15 I begged my grandparents to fight for me, which they did, and because my grandparents could use the educational neglect against my dad, it was decided I should stay with them for stability. My dad was upset. We already weren’t close but afterward it was worse.

We had a couple of sessions solo with our therapist and we had two sessions together. During the last session dad said he wanted to know why things were the way they were. And I told him I felt as though he made my life more difficult and that it wasn’t worth it. That his relationship with Gwen was not worth sacrificing the years of my life because of all the instability they brought. I pointed out how he never stopped to consider me in any of it. Just as long as Gwen and Katie were okay.

He was mad. After the session he told me how could I say that about my stepmom and baby sister. He told me it was a cruel thing to say. AITA?