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The original was posted on /r/transeducate by /u/nsfwonlyanonymous on 2023-07-02 12:20:49.

I’m a cis, pan man about 25yo. My partner is my age, and he’s a trans man. He uses he/him pronouns, and goes by (what I consider to be) a very masculine name.

In terms of appearance, he is not on T and has not had any surgeries. He has a little bit past chin length hair (which is about where mine is too), and he dresses pretty masc (more so than me sometimes).

What saddens me is, when we go on dates or meet new people, he sometimes gets misgendered. We volunteered at a garden today, and the woman running it misgendered him twice, despite the fact that she knew his name.

It bothers him, even if he doesn’t show it right away. It hurts me a lot to see him that way. I’ve asked if he’d like me to correct people when they do it, but he feels like it’s too late at that point.

I guess what I’m wondering is, does anyone have any recommendations about how I could signal to folks during introductions that he is a man? The only thing I could think of really is to introduce him as my boyfriend.

I also do work behind the scenes, like with friends, parents, etc. to let them know he’s not a woman (not by outing him, just by referring to him as my bf/using proper pronouns). I’d appreciate any feedback, including things that make you/your partner feel better when you’ve been misgendered.