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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/GfLittleBrother on 2023-09-22 13:26:03.

I (33M) don’t want to get into too much detail about this but my little brother (22M) is afab (meaning he has female biology) and the conception of his son (6M) was nonconsensual. While it was a lot for him, he has always been a great dad, and his son is a joy and I was and still am always happy to look after him when my brother needs me too.

Now onto what happened, my brother was supposed to have the day off so hadn’t sorted any childcare but was called in last minute and couldn’t really say no. he called me up and asked if I could take my nephew for the day, he was super apologetic, but I said it was fine as I didn’t have any plans, my brother told me he didn’t know when he would finish, and I said that little nephew could stay the night. My brother thanked me again and came by before he had to go with my nephew.

About 7pm-ish my gf of 2 years knocked on my door, when I answered she was stood there dressed up and told me she had organised a surprise date, I apologised to her and told her that I was looking after my nephew, she got upset and said she had put a lot of effort into this. I told her that I appreciated the effort and would love to but I didn’t know about these plans beforehand and already had commitments, and unless nephew could join us, I couldn’t come.

She got pissed off at that and yelled that my nephew isn’t my responsibility and that my brother needs to be a better parent. I told her that he was called into work last minute and was being responsible by making sure someone was looking after his son. She then went off saying how if my brother wasn’t properly prepared to look after a kid he should have kept his legs shut.

Now that set me off, she knows what happened to my brother, in fact I had told her only a few weeks ago with the permission of my brother. I told her to get off my property and that she was disgusting, and how could she say that when she knows exactly what happened.

She started crying and saying I was being cruel and unfair and then just started spewing some disgusting victim-blaming bullshit that I won’t repeat here because it honestly makes me sick. I again told her to leave, and that I will talk to her when she has calmed down, because if we continue right now I will break up with her here and now. She got quiet, then called me an asshole and left.

Now I kinda feel like shit for how I talked to her, not the message of what I said but maybe the content went too far, she was slightly drunk but I honestly saw red, I’ve always been super protective of my brother, but I also love my gf so im conflicted. AITA?