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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/farosco on 2023-06-22 18:57:41+00:00.

My (26M) bio mom left when I was 4. My dad remarried when I was 12 and my mom adopted me. She truly has been the only mom I’ve ever known/remembered. I’ve called her “mom” long before she adopted me. We are very close. Until now, I haven’t thought anything negative about either of my parents.

In the years since, my parents had 2 more kids, a 12 year old girl and a 6 year old boy. I am very close with both of them as well.

Recently, I discovered I have a 22 year old half-brother, Kyle, from my bio mom. Yeah, the math adds up and we now know she took off because she cheated on my dad and married the father of my brother. While bio mom and I still haven’t seen or spoken, Kyle and I have been getting to know each other. He lives quite a bit away but is now coming to visit and is potentially moving to the area after he graduates college as there’s more job opportunities for him and his girlfriend.

I mentioned to my parents that’s he’s attending my fiancé’s baby shower and I planned to introduce him to everyone then. It was then they revealed my younger siblings know nothing about me being adopted. It something I didn’t know, honestly because me being adopted doesn’t come up a lot. I don’t like to think about or discuss my bio mom. My mom has always made sure to make me feel loved and wanted, just as much as her bio kids.

I told my parents it was time for them to explain it to my siblings as I’m not going to hide who he is. They feel my youngest brother isn’t old enough to understand and that my sister wouldn’t keep the secret. I pointed out it doesn’t need to be a secret and I’m sure there’s literature or some way to bring it up.

This didn’t turn into a huge thing. They did end up telling my siblings (and outside a few questions, they did get it). However, some people I’ve spoken to feel it wasn’t right for me to ask this of them. My dad said he felt I “rushed him”. My mom was the only one who said I was right (outside my fiancé).

Was I wrong?

EDIT: stop treating this as something it’s not. My parents weren’t doing this maliciously or to hurt anyone. Yes, everyone else knew I was adopted, mostly because they were there when it happened. They don’t make a big deal of it to every single person who enters their lives, but honestly neither do I. The only people I’ve told in recent years are my fiancé and her family, when I first met them, as obviously they’re important. It’s the same with them.

My parents didn’t want to tell my siblings as they didn’t think they’d get it, as well as not wanting them to treat me differently. That’s all. Stop turning this into “wow, your parents are super sus”.