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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/KittyObsession on 2023-09-23 13:38:57.

My brother IB (Idiot Brother-mid 30s) and I (20s F), fought recently over some boundaries I set with his wife CW (Cheating Wife-late 20s). The 2 of them are a constant source of stress for the whole family. They’re always fighting, and trying to make it everyone else’s problem too. They have 2 kids (3,7) and a 3rd on the way.

2 days ago, it was recently discovered CW was cheating again. Shocker I know. But she was bringing their 3yo with her and leave them in the car, alone, while she was hooking up. And IB decided to forgive her… Yeah, you read that right. He forgave her for ENDANGERING their 3yo child and leaving them in a car alone for an unspecified period of time. CW even admitted she was doing this in the middle of the summer too! They could have died in the hot car!

IB then tried asking our older brothers wife and I, to hang out with CW more. I think he’s hoping that if she’s with girl friends CW wouldn’t cheat and we could keep her in line? Frankly I don’t think anything could stop her at this point, this seems to have been going on for their whole relationship.

However, I’ve long sense reached my limit with CW. If the conversation isn’t about her she will make it about her. Every time she gets caught cheating she plays the victim card as if it’s not her fault she cheated on IB. Hell, on a previous confrontation about her cheating, she assaulted IB for not believing her lies about where she was and having evidence she was cheating.

So when IB asked us to hang out with CW more I felt I had to make it clear that unless I have to, ie. for the sake of their kids, I will not have anything to do with her going forward. Their never ending drama has done nothing but cause me constant stress and anxiety. I’ve already done my best to be LC with them as possible. CW can go pound sand for all I care… or whatever random guy she’s hooking up with that day. Our older brothers wife said more or less the same thing. She’s also pregnant and is supposed to be on bed rest and avoiding stress as she has high blood pressure.

Well IB didn’t like our responses. He called us selfish b*tches for not even attempting to forgive CW. That she was the mother of his children (debatable) and that she won’t be going anywhere anytime soon so we might as well learn to get along. That he loves her and she loves him (again debateable). He finished off with a jab at why my ex and I broke up. Saying that since I’m so selfish and only think about myself it’s no wonder why he left me.

I laughed and retorted, “that’s rich coming from a man who can’t keep his wife from running off to sleep with other men and asking others to keep her in line. There’s nothing more selfish than people wanting others to handle their problems for them.”

Now he’s mad and giving everyone the silent treatment. Most of us our enjoying the silence. I don’t think I’m TA, but some friends I vented to said it wouldn’t kill me to help IB keep CW in line to keep the peace.

So, Aita?