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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Acceptable-Initial44 on 2023-07-04 15:55:31+00:00.

So my(m29) wife(f27) has been a stay at home mother since the pandemic began. She lost her job cuz of the pandemic and given that we were stuck at home, most of the time, we decided that it was better for us to fire our housekeeper and have her be a stay at home mom at least until the kids (6f, 4m, 1m) were a little older.

And its mostly been fine. We split chores about 40% me/ 60% her. She does most of the household work during the day, and I take over when I get home. Except on weekends, when we either work together or one of us relaxes.

The thing is, I gave her free reign on the monthly financials of the household. Our thought process was, she spends most of the time buying things for the family, she’d know best what to buy, how, when. And it would be a waste of time to discuss every purchase or financial decision.

And that was fine as well. Until about 4 months ago when I noticed some discrepancies. I began noticing a bunch of 49.99$ or 99.99$ purchases. Initially I didn’t pay them any mind, but over time there were more and more. So eventually I did a little digging, i checked who the purchases where made to, tracked how often. Looked at what my wife does in her free time.

Long story short over the span of just the last 2 months she spent ~10k dollars on gatcha games.

Look, I’m not ridiculous, I understand people have hobbies that can require expensive purchases. I myslef spend maybe 200$ on video games every month. But 10k… in 2 months… on gatcha games, games specifically designed too keep you paying and paying. I consider it a real problem.

So I confronted her. I told her that I’m not giving her a blank check anymore, not unless she seeks professional help. I told her that I called our old housekeeper and she’ll start working with us again this month to help her with the kids.

She said that its not that big of a deal because we can afford it.

I told her yes, we can afford it, for now. But its a dangerous game she’s playing and she needs help. I told her the housekeeper will have to approve the financial decisions in the household together with her.

Then she called me an asshole and that I’m financially controlling her because I’m only source of income in the household.