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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/EasySimpleSong on 2023-07-04 16:33:02+00:00.

My dad (a widower) married Jane (a widow) when I (18m) was 8. Jane had a daughter Lucy who is 10 weeks younger than me. Because we were so close in age my dad and Jane found it “fun” to call us twins and to jokingly talk about us as though we were a pair. Lucy and I got along okay at first. But she always had anxiety and mental health issues and latched onto me. She confessed to me a few times that she liked being called my twin because it meant we would always be together and I would have to always act like a big brother to her. She even told me she was glad her dad died before she could get to know him because she knew I didn’t love her or her mom and that my mom’s death was the biggest reason. I used to find how she talked really weird. I tried to not let it come between us. But when we were 11/12 she told me to forget my mom existed and be glad she died because it meant a bigger family, I started to pull away from her. The reason she said it? She felt I should appreciate that having a bigger family with a sibling made her feel more secure. Her words really annoyed me and I lost all interest in trying to care about her then.

I told dad and Jane over the years that them calling us twins bothered me. They brushed it off. Sometimes Jane would act annoyed, and maybe she was offended that it bothered me so much. It made me feel trapped. I said this in family therapy we all did when I was 15 and they were unhappy that I was ignoring Lucy by then and refusing to spend time with her as siblings or as friends. Family therapy was shitty.

I began counting down the days to graduation when I was 14 and the day of my graduation I moved out of state with my grandmom and granddad for the summer. I also changed my college plans without telling my dad and I’ll be going to community college and working.

Lucy and I were meant to be going to the same college. She’s moving out soon. She’ll be living on campus. Lucy wanted to come stay with me for a while before and for me to help her adjust to life away from home. Dad asked me about it when I didn’t reply to Lucy. I told him my grandparents would not let her live here and I don’t want to leave. We argued over it. I revealed I had changed my college plans. He brought up the twin thing and sacrificing Lucy’s college experience. I told him that I am not a twin, never was a twin, and I am not willing to sacrifice my college experience for her. I told him I don’t care if this means she won’t be able to make it through college. I am not her keeper, I am not her friend and I am not going to take responsibility for her. My dad and Jane are angry, Lucy sent me a long text asking why I pulled away from her and why I won’t be the big brother she needs.

AITA?