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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Smooth_Metal on 2023-09-23 16:49:44.

I (44F) was diagnosed with a very large but benign brain tumor earlier this year and had surgery to remove it. I was gravely sick for 3 months leading up to this, sleeping 15+ hours a day, vomiting every day multiple times a day and with severe headaches. My husband was a wreck as we didn’t know my diagnosis until 11 days before the surgery; he barely slept bc he was terrified I would fall asleep and not wake up. Before the surgery the only family who came to see me in the hospital was one sister, my mom and my husband, and an aunt. After surgery I had impaired mobility, for a month I couldn’t walk w/o a walker and someone holding me upright. But after my surgery I woke up and my parents and my husband were there. My parents asked how I was, and then my mother immediately told me she was taking my two kids on a trip to Puerto Rico, then she started talking about another vacation they had planned with my children that I had also not heard abt. I was confused as this was news to me and my brain was literally resetting itself, and they had not asked me. I was pretty curt with them and they left. The whole interaction bothered me so much that I asked them to stop by my house when I was discharged 5 days later so we could talk about it. It did not go well, they were there to be praised and when I brought up that I thought the conversation was inappropriate (and also that neither of them was there to even help me into the house when I got home - and I fell getting inside despite my husband trying his best to help me) they said they were offended. I told them I was offended as well, and my dad started yelling at me, telling me this was all somehow my husbands fault. My husband and kids were upstairs and heard everything. I yelled at them both to get out. My husband rushed to comfort me while I sobbed. The steroids were so awful I couldn’t sleep, so my husband cdn’t sleep either bc he had to keep an eye on me at all times. Unbeknownst to me my parents reached out to a friend of mine online and implied that they were concerned for my physical safety. The friend lives out of state and has never met my husband IRL but she reached out to him through FB and asked him probing questions, egged on by my parents. He was sleep deprived and disgusted with how my family treated me, so he vented to her abt my family, and how he was just trying to follow my wishes. He also called out my parents alcoholism. Things have been very strained with my family for the last 6 months and I was working on my relationship with my parents until yesterday when my dad brought up that the friend had sent him SS of her convo with my husband, and that he was offended by them and needed an apology (he has never apologized to me) My parents did just gift us money towards a house purchase, but I am against my husband being forced to apologize, and quite honestly I feel like he is also owed an apology. AITA?