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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Smuckinfartass on 2023-09-23 21:56:51.
We went shopping together before going to a cottage. On the way out of the grocery store there were two girl guides who said in perfect unison “Would you like to buy some girl guide cookies?” I thought it was really cute the way they asked, but before I could say anything my BIL asked them to repeat what they said. So they said it again in perfect unison. BIL then said “if you didn’t ask so annoyingly then I’d say yes”. They looked very dejected after that comment, so I apologized for what he said, told them I thought the way they asked was really cute, and bought a box of cookies. Now he’s practically giving me the silent treatment on the four hour drive to the cottage. He told me I had no right to apologize for him. So, AITA here?
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YTA. You treated him like an animal, not a person. Animals have no responsibility and so the animal’s keeper takes responsibility. You apologizing for your BIL’s behavior implies he has no moral agency. It’s dehumanizing.
Also, you assumed his feedback was ill-intentioned. Did it cross your mind that he was giving them advice on how to increase their sales? That it’s legitimate for him to express when he dislikes things? Did he use a snotty tone when he said this? Did you apologize on the girls’ behalf for annoying him with a weird sing-song pitch?
Yeah I’d be mad too if you did that to me. I can’t even stand it when a parent apologizes for their kid.
A person holding back an unruly dog says “sorry” because they haven’t trained the dog well though yet. A person with a human acting in a way they don’t like takes it up with that human. They don’t apologize on that other human’s behalf.
