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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Responsible-Cat-2470 on 2023-09-24 04:30:05.
My sister has a 5 month old baby. Her and her boyfriend are not struggling financially, but their standard of living has very much decreased since giving birth. They can afford the necessities, but they can’t go on vacation, can’t go out to eat and can’t afford a babysitter. They also just moved into a cheaper apartment. My mom has been asking my sister and the baby to move in with her so they can save money (my sister said no).
For more context, my sister’s boyfriend makes a little less than minimum wage. He only works part-time at a restaurant to focus on creating his music. When my sister announced they were trying for a baby, my mom was really worried (and she’s still worried) about their financial situation. My sister is the primary income source for their household and my mom has been giving them some money every month. I make a little more than my sister but I don’t have kids.
So last night, all of us came together for dinner. My sister kept asking me when I’m going to have kids and I said I don’t plan on having kids. She said I’ll change my mind (I’m almost 30). I said I probably won’t and she kept pressing me on why. I finally just said “I don’t want kids, I want money” and she got really quiet. When the dinner was over, she left a voicemail to my mom crying about how I attacked her and my mom is mad at me. My mom wants me to apologize to my sister.
To be clear, I do think my sister is in a nightmare situation but I would have said I wanted money even if she didn’t have a baby. I’ve always thought I’m not meant for parenthood and I’d rather just be the cool, fun aunt that travels a lot and buys big presents for my nieces/nephews. I didn’t mean to insult her and I’ve never once commented on her financials or relationship because it’s not my place. AITA and should I apologize?