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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Acceptable-Sound321 on 2023-07-04 21:05:27+00:00.

I (F28) was married last year. I made Anne (F29) my maid of honor. Anne and I often hang out with Belle (F28) because we were all girls in the same friend group.

I do not like Belle at all. The feeling is mutual. She is a bully and she is only nice when she is drunk. Belle only likes to see me to compare our lives and try to put me down. But Anne is my very dear friend and expressed that she feels guilty when she doesn’t invite Belle because she knows Belle has no other friends.

Despite this, I made Belle one of my bridesmaids because Anne was my maid of honor and I knew Belle would kick up a fuss behind my back unless I made her a bridesmaid. I paid for all my bridesmaids’ stuff, including dresses and bachelorette party, because I thought it was unfair to burden them with my expenses and because I could afford to. Everyone had a blast and luckily there was no drama.

Now Belle is getting married and has made me and Anne bridesmaids. I wouldn’t really have an issue with this except Belle is expecting us to cover our own expenses. I am well off and could afford to, but I’d rather not because I am still saving up for a home in a high COL area. When I declined, Belle was upset and mentioned that I could easily afford the expense. I said that I simply don’t want to but I would be happy to be a guest. Belle brought up that she was my bridesmaid, but I reminded her that I paid for all her expenses.

Now Belle is having a fit and threatening to remove Anne as a bridesmaid. Anne is actually relieved because she couldn’t afford the expense ($2k for the dress so far), but her feelings are hurt and she told me that I should have sucked it up and paid. Was I the asshole?