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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/throwaway0011109 on 2023-09-25 12:26:16.

It’s no secret that I’m not very strict with my kids (2 boys, teenagers). They don’t have a curfew, I don’t get mad at them if they don’t get good grades, I don’t ground them, they have girlfriends that I allow them to see/have over, yes I know my older one has smoked weed, etc etc etc.

And guess what? The boys are typical teenage boys but they are kindhearted and sweet. We have a very good relationship and they’re actually home more often than not. While we aren’t strict parents, we also taught them to be kind, generous and respectful and it actually worked (though we do have some bad days but no one’s perfect).

I have a friend that’s a great mom but her and her daughter cannot stand each other right now. She complains about not being able to connect with her but I don’t say anything because every child is different and I also don’t have any daughters. My parenting style won’t work on every child either.

Anyways, this friend came over for lunch and both my boys were home. One of them had their girlfriend over and we were chatting for a bit before they both went upstairs to my son’s room. My friend looked shocked and was like “you’re seriously going to let them be alone in his room?” I just said yeah and she was like “I could never do that.” I just laughed along with her.

Then my eldest comes downstairs and is all like “hey mom I’m ordering food you want anything?” I said no thanks and turned back to my friend and she looked shocked again and was like “but you cooked food?” I told her he’s old enough to eat whatever he wants and he’s ordering food with his own money that he earned so why would I stop him. It’s not like it’s a special occasion or I specifically cooked food for him (besides what I cooked was literally just fancy looking grilled cheese sandwiches).

My friend made a face and kept telling me that what I’m doing isn’t right and that I’m acting like their friend, not their parent and even teenage boys need rules to become good people. I was trying to change the subject but she wouldn’t just let it go so I said “I’m sorry but I am NOT taking parenting advice from you.”

She went quiet before yelling at me and saying that I’m the weird one not her and that I can’t be serious. I told her that she should probably leave and she was like “I should, I didn’t know you were such a mean person. I pray your kids never talk to you again when they realize how much you’ve failed them.”

Now I’m not asking for judgement about my parenting, I know how many will react, but AITA for what I specifically said to my friend about her parenting? I feel a little bad because it is a sore spot and she’s not a bad parent at all.