This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/supersleepykitten on 2023-09-26 01:09:00.

Basically the title but his place is so gross!! Like it smells bad and I’m worried that I’m going to smell now and how fucking embarrassing that will be when going to class and professional stuff. He even told me to just not go into the living room and kitchen for now because he is going to have to pay to have a truck come pick up the garbage so I am basically confined to the bedroom and bathroom and those aren’t even clean either. There are spiders and fruit flies everywhere. I bought new towels and hung one over the shower curtain excited to take a nice hot shower and feel clean and when I got in I saw that the towel was covered in spider webs with a big spider on it. I had hung my clean clothes on the towel rack so I could get dressed after and a huge spider was crawling on my clothes too.

He just confronted me earlier about not being ‘affectionate’ which yeah is true, so I told him I’m turned off by how dirty it is and why would I be in the mood when I’m surrounded by filth? Like his personal hygiene is fine when it comes to showering and shit like that but that doesn’t matter when he just puts on dirty clothes and sleeps on fucking smelly sheets covered in dirt. His response was that this was how his place was last time I visited. Now his place was definitely not as clean as I would have liked it to be last time but it wasn’t anywhere near this bad. And I told him SO MANY times that the cleanliness was a big issue for me and a huge concern/hesitation when it came to my moving here. We talked about it many times. He said he wanted to work on it too and would make sure that the place was clean when I arrived. He started complaining about being overwhelmed and not having enough time to finish cleaning literally the day I was flying here so I snapped at him and told him not to worry about it and I would just buy cleaning supplies and clean it myself because obviously at that point it felt too late for me to reschedule but I didn’t know it was going to be this bad at all. I actually wouldn’t even mind cleaning the place but it’s bad to the point where I cannot fix it. I know he’s been depressed and tired from work and I get it. I understand why he feels overwhelmed by it because I do too. I just wish I knew how truly bad it was and that he hadn’t kept telling me he was gonna have the place clean for me.

I just don’t know what to do. I like this city and I was excited for my masters program, I think it will be really good for me and really good for my career but obviously I CANNOT live here in this apartment. I could move to a new place with him as my only issue with him is this and I do think he’d change his habits in a new place. But like is it just going to be because I’m there to bitch at him and not let it get bad? I understand getting depressed and not having the energy to clean up but I also feel extremely disrespected so idk. I could break up with him and try to find a place I can afford on my own like a studio or a house share. It would be really hard but I think I could make it work, I would still get to do my masters program and honestly probably grow a lot as a person through it but I might also be really lonely. Or I could just go home. I’d be out thousands of dollars and be super embarrassed and have to stay with one of my parents. Idk how long it would take me to recover/figure things out for myself again. But at least I’d be in a familiar, safe place.

What do I do?? Sorry for the super long post but I could really use advice or encouragement right now