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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/PossessionDistinct79 on 2023-09-25 18:34:47.

Me and my partner have broken up due to her refusing to look after me during my recovery from back surgery. Bit of backstory been together around 3 years and the relationship hasn’t been completely smooth sailing due to issues we both suffer from but there is the foundation of love underneath. We don’t live together as we both work in different parts of the city and it made sense to stay separate, plus she didn’t want to rent together so I always did the traveling going over to hers in the evenings and weekends despite it being a major pain in the butt sometimes. Anyway I had back surgery and she took me home from the hospital and then just kind of never came back, I asked her repeatedly to come help me wash, take me shopping so I could eat but she would nearly always refuse as she said she was tired from work. Sometimes she would say she would come so I would wait and look forward to her coming only for her to let me down and claim she didn’t like it at mine as I have a cat and she hates cats. But I told her she could lock the cat out or something for a few hours if she wanted too and I needed her as I was laid up unable to really move and was pretty lonely. Regardless she only came 3 or 4 times and made it clear she hated being there, she kept saying that I needed to come to hers and when I expressed that I couldn’t move she said I should “use public transport”. Anyway I ended it over that but am I being selfish by asking for help and support? Now we were arguing before the surgery due to some insignificant reason or other which doesn’t help and I have been quite depressed and grumpy since the surgery as staring at the wall all day hasn’t been fun, but I have apologised endlessly for being grumpy. What do you guys think?