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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/One_Raspberry4313 on 2023-09-25 22:23:04.

t/w: miscarriage

my husband has a twin brother who we do not keep much in contact with due to past drama with him and his wife. Sometime last year, they got pregnant but it unfortunately ended in a miscarriage a week or two after they found out. As we don’t talk much outside of family gatherings, we found out about the miscarriage from their mom a few weeks later. They never told us directly, so we never reached out to them to say anything about it. At family functions when we’re all sort of forced to be together, there is nothing more than “Hi’s” and “Bye’s” said between us all, and even that is touch and go sometimes; but we overheard that they have been trying again for the past 6 months to get pregnant again.

Well unexpectedly and very unplanned, I found out I’m pregnant some time ago. I’m about 10 weeks now and we pretty much have no intention of telling them about our pregnancy, we know they will find out on socials but we don’t feel the need, nor really even want to, reach out directly to tell them our pregnancy news, as we really don’t know how they would react, especially since they lost theirs less than a year ago. I obviously don’t want to be insensitive to their situation or to their feelings, but there has been so much past tension/drama to the point where I don’t feel obligated to tell them anything about our lives, especially since they make it a point to keep us out of theirs (ie. we were not invited to their wedding, we weren’t told they were even pregnant or that it ended in miscarriage)

AITA for not telling them at all and just waiting till they find out on social media like everyone else?

Update: For added context, my husband was invited to the wedding, was originally intended to be the best man, I was uninvited due to fear from the Bride of “being upstaged at her own wedding” this was said directly from his brother to us, so naturally my husband said he will not be going and his invitation was taken away. (My husband and I are professional models, and his brother’s bride is a very insecure person and was a major bride-zilla)