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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/OkMulberry7048 on 2023-09-26 01:51:34.

My sister recently sent out the invitations to her wedding. Once I received mine I asked her whether or not she also sent one to her biological dad. They are mostly estranged and she sees him maybe every once year.

Our mom and her dad got together when I was around 2 and separated when I was 10 (my sister was 3) after her dad got sent to prison. He was in prison for quite some time and didn’t pay my mom any child support for his 3 kids even after he got out.

Her dad was pretty much the only dad I ever knew (I’ve never met my own bio dad), but that includes a lot of bad memories. She only thinks of him like a guy that was never around whereas I remember him as aggressive, drunk, controlling, and him breaking my mothers heart. Myself and my siblings grew up in poverty because this man got himself sent to prison.

I hate him and have refused to see him up to this point. My sister and one of our brothers have been trying to have a relationship with him the last few years. Which o me seems pointless and I don’t support it.

I told her if he is at the wedding I won’t be there. As much as I want to support her on such an important day I know if I have to be around that man I will cause a scene. I know myself well enough that I won’t be able to keep my anger in check.

She’s understandably upset with me that I would make her chose and has said at this point we both remain invited and that she hopes she can convince me to still attend.

Yesterday her partner messaged me to basically call me a massive asshole for upsetting my sister and creating a problem for nothing. I think it’s unfair for him to judge me considering he doesn’t know the history. Am I allowed to have boundaries with the man that ruined our family and all my siblings childhoods? AITA?