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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/daniellegaines on 2023-09-26 06:56:13.

My fiancé (29M) and I (27F) are getting married in about a year, after almost 8 years together. All of the wedding planning has gone great so far, until a couple of weeks ago. We are both fairly frugal, so we planned to cut excess wedding expenses as much as possible.

About two weeks ago, my fiancé came downstairs after talking on the phone with his older sister and told me “how excited she was to be a bridesmaid.” I hadn’t asked her to be my bridesmaid, and I’m not planning on having any bridesmaids/MOH, so I assumed they were referring to another friend of hers or something. Slowly, I realized that she had been talking about our wedding. I quickly corrected my fiancé, explaining that she wasn’t going to be my bridesmaid, since I wasn’t having any.

He got upset (which is out of character) and said I was being silly. He told me that it would be weird for me to not have any bridesmaids, mean to his sister to be left out of our ceremony, and unfair because he was planning on having nine groomsmen (the first I heard of this). I countered with my reasoning, explaining that I am trying to save money by not having bridesmaids and more importantly, I don’t have enough friends to be bridesmaids. The only people I could think of would be my sister and his, and having two bridesmaids that were from our families would make me look sad.

We took a break on the argument for the rest of the evening, but it came back up the next morning. He argued that it’s his sister, and if he wants her in the wedding she should be in it. I agreed, and said she could be part of his wedding party if he wanted. I don’t have any brothers, so it’s not like my sibling is one of his groomsmen. He then continued to point out that it would be weird for him to have groomsmen when I don’t have anyone on my side of the aisle. He said that to not make it look weird, he has to give up his groomsmen.

I was diagnosed with a form of high-functioning autism as a child, so I’ve never been the best at picking up on social cues and whenever I’ve started to make friends, they never stick around. I also lived by myself in college and never joined sororities/clubs, I don’t have contact with anyone I knew from high school, I’m not close with my colleagues (who are much older than me), and my free time is spent volunteering at the dog shelter, going to the gym, or working on my online masters. He knows my lack of friends is something I’m self conscious/sad about, so I don’t know why he’s trying to make it such a big deal about it for our wedding.

I spoke with my sister who agrees with me and gets where I’m coming from, and I know his sister would understand too. I don’t feel like I’m stopping him from having groomsmen if he wants, but he keeps saying that I am, and I either need to hire professional bridesmaids (which I can’t afford) or get over myself and finally go make friends. AITAH?