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The original was posted on /r/sex by /u/No-Performance-7315 on 2023-07-05 03:03:54+00:00.

My wife (33F) and I(35M) had a very boring sex life.

We’ve known eachother for about 16 years, been together about 10, and been married about 1. I never wanted a marraige, but she wore me down, thats why one 1 year. We have always worked well together, and never even had a real argument.

She was always very conservative sexually. She had only been with one man before me, and always felt intimidated as my number is quite a bit higher. We both felt insecure as we both gained a few pounds over the years, i have a LOT of major scars, she has stretch marks, etc. We were at a point where we could sometimes go 3 or 4 weeks without it. Sex was usually either just me on top, or her, and thats it. No oral, no manual stimulation, etc. Fairly boring but I was fine with that. I had my fun in my younger years, and wanted her to be comfortable and happy, and i thought she was.

Recently however, we made an effort to change. We both got on a new medication. This medication was perscribed for weight loss, at our request to the doctor. We also took steps to become more active, and cut our diets down to basically just salad and lean meat.

We really discussed our issues and concerns with our bodies and our sex lives. It was difficult to be that honest about our own bodies. We made points to let the other person into our issues, and insecurities. We gave eachother compliments, encouragement, and we have really made an effort to connect romantically about these areas of concern. We both tried to put ourselves outside our comfort zones, and work to be more comfortable with these things around eachother.

We went from zero to sixty in no time. Shes opened up about her wishes, desires, and curiosities. She had never even masturbated before, never used a toy of any sort, never really experimented.

That all changed, fast. Three weeks later, we’ve got a sex swing in the bedroom, a case full of toys, outfits and we’ve gone at it at least once a day (some days 3 or more times). She sexts me all day, sends nude etc. We try new things. We aren’t yet 100% comfortable with our insecurities, but we are far closer than we have ever been with them. We are connecting in new ways on both emotional and sexual levels.

She admits her sex drive is usually fairly high and she was just too conservative to make a move. (I had no idea) I have chronic pain from an old injury so sex wasn’t always at the forefront of my mind, and i admittedly wasn’t putting in the effort to SHOW her how attractive i found her. I always told her, but rarely showed it physically. This new medication, diet, and honesty drove us both to that new level.

Not only are we connecting sexually on a new level, but we feel closer emotionally, and romantically than ever before!

I wish we had done this years ago, and i hope it may help someone else!

TLDT We discussed our insecurities with eachother honestly and openly. We gave eachother encouragement and support regarding the insecurities. We took steps to lower our weight with diet and medication. Because of that, we have great sex every single day.