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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Dry-Low8856 on 2023-09-26 16:10:01.

Throwaway.

Background: My (36M), sister, Rebecca (43F), got married to James (46M) after 1.5 years of dating in January of 2022. We live in opposite ends of the country so I only got to meet James a handful of times before the wedding but he seemed alright enough. Cut to six months later and our parents (69M, 70F) tell me they are offically divorced. Apparently he just up and left her. She moved in with my parents temporarily after that.

At first I was sympathetic to her but she kept insisting that he be included in family planning. If someone had a birthday party she wanted him to be invited, we had to have a family group chat with him, etc. I tried to bring up how this behavior was not healthy to both my parents, Rebecca, and our other sister Jane (40F). While Jane agreed with me in private, no one seemed to agree with me out loud. About three months after the divorce, Rebecca seemed to move on and not insist he be involved with future plans.

During this time, my now wife, Andrea (30F) and I were planning our wedding. The divorce happened and was finalized legally before we sent out our save-the-dates and inviations. We sent our invitations in March 2023 and naturally, we only addressed our invite to Rebecca. This set her off. Apparently her and James had gotten back together in February but had not mentioned it to Andrea and I until that moment.

We stood firm that he could not come, we wanted our wedding to be about us not her melodrama. Cue her texting us about it at least once a month leading up to our wedding last month. We always told her no and our reasons why. She drug our parents into the argument and they said it would be nice for us to include James, stating he was a “good man.” Jane seemed to be on our side and mad she went back to him so easily.

You can probably see where this is going… she brought him to the wedding. Showed up to the rehearsal dinner with him and her dog (who I also said couldn’t come). I told her after it was over that he could absolutely not be at the wedding the next day. She did finally listen to this request but diappeared after the ceremony. She wasted her meal, her lodging we paid for, and missed family photos. I was pissed that she did this to us, made everything about her.

Cut to a few days after the wedding, turns out everyone in my family knew he was coming and helped keep the secert from me, even Jane. So I cut them off. They refused to acknowledge what they did was wrong and keep taking her side. I told them until they apologize I will not be in contact with them. I didnt have them blocked at first but I kept getting messages berating me for being mean to Rebecca. Jane even called me a hateful, spiteful person. I have stuck to my word in this and haven’t spoken to them since a few days after the wedding. But this is eatting me up. I have no idea if I did anything wrong. I can’t stop thinking about every scenario.

So aita for telling my family I won’t speak to them until they apologize to me.