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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/WatercressFickle8074 on 2023-09-26 21:49:56.

To preface this me (27f) and my sister (30f) are both of Indian descent from the United States. My sister is getting married in November and currently we are in the process of getting the clothes made for the wedding. Indian weddings are usually quite large and extravagant with several events. I as the bride’s sister will be expected to dress very nicely so I am having my clothes custom made as well.

Yesterday we went to our first fitting for the outfits and the moment my sister saw my outfits she was upset. I am having four different lehengas made which are like a crop top and a long skirt made for her wedding events. My sister on the other hand is choosing to wear suits which are like a long tunic with baggy pants on the bottom. My sister once she saw me in the outfits told me they were too revealing and would like me to wear something more toned down as she herself will be in a suit. I’ll admit we both look very different and have different body types so her choice of outfit is a much better fit for her. She got even more upset when I pointed out that several of our cousins will be wearing similar outfits to the wedding. She said she doesn’t care what they do but that I should let her have the “spotlight” for this one event in her life.

Here is where I may be the AH, I told her that no matter what I wear she will be insecure and her insecurities are for her to deal with. Indian moms can be quite blunt and I won’t lie our entire life my mom has pointed out just how different we look physically. I can see why she would be insecure but I don’t see why I have to cater to her insecurities. My mom agrees with me and told my sister I will be wearing the lehengas as that’s what looks best on me. I’m not going to lie I think Indian suits look frumpy to me and I want to wear what flatters me. I’d rather not even go if I wear a suit, they look better on more matronly women. So AITA in this situation ?

For more context this what the lehengas I’m getting made looks like more or less:

This what my sister would like me to wear:

***clarification this is not the suit my sister is wearing. She would like me to wear something like this. She has had several suits made for her wedding all which have very heavy amounts of embroidery and crystals. There is no way anyone will not think she is the bride.