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The original was posted on /r/luciddreaming by /u/Beautiful-Land-8085 on 2023-09-26 22:58:52.
Forgive me as I suck at reddit and making post’s look pretty. For as long as I can remember I have had shitty dreams. My first dream memory I have is a bad dream/nightmare. My dreams can be days long. It’s like I legit live in my dreams when I’m sleeping. Whenever I come to the point where I want to exit my dream I kill myself in some way, whatever is closest to me is how it will go down. Sometimes I jump into a body of water and start drinking the water until I die, or I will jump off of a mountain, shoot myself in the head, jump in front of cars, and the least crazy one is just straight up falling face first into the ground and just hoping I wake up. Lately I have been stuck in my dreams to the point to where my get out safe cards done work anymore. I will try my method of waking myself up but it just won’t happen. I have been getting absolutely tortured in my dreams. It’ll feel like days of constant harassment. For example, I just woke up from a nap and my life long partner will harrasss me and tell me he never wants to see me again and he is selling the house. It’ll be days of this. When I can’t wake up I will just spiral and go around in circles trying to make the people happy I upset somehow. Everyone in my dreams actually hates me. I posted here in lucid dreams because I am aware that I’m dreaming most times. There are times that I can manipulate the dream, but most times I’m just completely aware it’s a dream. Which is annoying to me because wouldn’t I be more comfortable when I’m fully aware that it’s a dream? I’m just looking for someone that goes through the same thing of having days long dreams of your mind torturing you. When I wake up from dreams like this I do NOT feel rested. It feels I was just doing whatever the fuck I was doing in my dream. No restful feelings, and it brings me to hesitate and think about it what nightmares I’m going to encounter tonight. I am in therapy and I have tried to treat my dreams with medications. But they did jack shit. Sometimes I will have a nice dream but it’s so rare. I’m just coming here to rant because I’m sick of waking up feeling like my whole life fell apart. Please tell me someone goes through this too. I wake up and pretend I didn’t just go through hell every day