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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/ApprehensiveGoat2760 on 2023-09-27 14:57:40.


Bit of a long story so bear with me.

I (32f) am marrying my longterm boyfriend (34m) in February next year. We’ve been engaged and planning the wedding for about two years now. Part of the reason we’ve had such a long engagement is that he’s Irish Catholic and I’m English protestant (Anglican). He’s not remotely religious (I am though), but his family are very devout. His grandma (who he is extremely close to) in particular really wanted him to get married in their local church.

Anyway, we went to speak to the priest about it and he told us it’s possible for us to marry without me converting, you just need to ask the bishop for permission, however, at the same time he asked if I’d be interested in converting. My family history is that my dad’s family is Catholic (from Liverpool), but my mum’s family is Anglican.

Anyway, long story short, I thought about it and decided to do the conversion course and convert. It started a year and a half ago and I finished it this April.

A few months ago I was at home for a big family BBQ and a cousin on my dad’s side (who was never Christened or baptised) was telling me she was thinking about starting to go to church etc. I started telling her about this course I’d done (which is also for people new to the church) and my experience of it etc.

I have two aunts on my mum’s side, and one of them (who was hammered at this point), overheard and said, “You’re a catholic now? Isn’t it bad enough you’re marrying one?”

I was totally speechless for a second, and my dad’s very much a conflict-resolution sort of person so he tried to make a joke out of things by saying, “Like mother like daughter”, but I’m not a conflict-resolution sort of person so I asked her what the hell she meant by that.

She started ranting about the 70s and my mum had to almost physically pull her inside. It’s worth noting that her husband, her other sister, her husband and their kids were all there (all adults), but not one of them said anything to shut her up. In fact they were actively excusing her by saying things like “She’s just had too much to drink.” And my other aunt even asked me again why I’d converted in quite a harsh voice.

I didn’t answer but I did say that if they felt so strongly about it then they can just not come to the wedding. My dad managed to change the conversation at that point (again with a joke, bless him), and the subject didn’t come up again)

The day after I was talking to my mum about it, who was also trying to keep the peace by saying that it’s just a touchy subject for them (it fucking isn’t, they’re just dicks). I told her I didn’t care if it was touchy, they couldn’t say that sort of thing and I was uninviting that side of the family from the wedding.

I think they thought I was joking but the invites went out last week and they’re furious that I’ve cut them out of the wedding over “a bit of banter.”

AITA? It was maybe a bit severe not to invite any of them, but not one of them stood up to my aunt and disagreed.