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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Sufficient-Ice6123 on 2023-09-27 21:17:47.

Does anyone else have an issue with letting their guard down with potential partners because you don’t know if they’re just trying to use you/have no serious intentions?

I’m 23 and I recently dabbled in online dating for the first time and spoke to a couple of guys on there. One of them turned out to be a huge red flag as he was in my DMs calling me cute one day, then a couple days later his new girlfriend (or I assume she’s his girlfriend) posted on her birthday with a cake from him calling her ‘the most precious girl’ lol. It was my first time to witness this type of thing personally so it had shook me to my core to say the least, which maybe made the issue worse.

I’m closer with the other guy - I went on a date with him and we actually ended up making out. We message pretty often and he’s lovely but very flirty. He talks about physical stuff a lot which makes me worry he thinks of me as an “easy” girl (although I hate that wording). I enjoy flirting with him and we get along well, when we met I felt very comfortable with him, but I feel myself holding back because I don’t want him to get close to me, use me for my body and then never talk to me again. I have no evidence that he’ll do that but the thought constantly lingers on my mind. I’m completely inexperienced (that date was my first ever one, and he was my first kiss) and he is aware of that, I don’t want that to be taken advantage of and seen as naivety… Since we’re not even exclusive and tend to have a playful dynamic, it feels so serious and out of place to talk to him about it. All these fears have kind of left me at a standstill where I like a guy, but I feel like I’m pushing him away because of these fears. I haven’t spoken to him in 5 days.

It makes me worry that I’ll never be able to open up to any guy because I’m scared of them having bad intentions or seeing me as just an object that is replaceable with another woman after they’re done with me. Does anyone else feel this way? Or have any advice on how to deal with these kind of situations?