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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Redditwanderer53 on 2023-09-30 14:07:44.

For some reason I (33F) am struggling to let go of a misunderstanding between the nurse, my partner (36M) and me that occurred literally as he was being taken to surgery.

For context this was a planned surgery to remove some hardware from a previous injury. Obviously I wanted to be there for him so I took the day off so I could take him to hospital. Any kind of surgery is a big deal and he has every right to be worried. As his partner and someone who loves him very much, naturally I was worried too but I didn’t talk about so as not to add to his anxiety.

Anyway, we got to the hospital in plenty of time. We’re waiting at the theatre submission room where we were told go, the nurse comes out and says my partners name the next thing I know he’s stood up. She said something to me about going to the end of the corridor, just to note I am hard of hearing and use hearing aids. I started to panic a bit because they were taking him away and I didn’t understand what the nurse was saying as she had a strong accent and I could not hear her well. So I asked where am I supposed to go? She said I can wait at then end of the corridor or go home and someone will call me when he’s done. I said but you don’t have my number? At that point my partner told me off I can’t remember exactly what he said but he thinks I was rude to the nurse. I can be blunt but I had absolutely no intention of being rude, I have to upmost respect for anyone who works in the hospital. he said I was acting like they’re idiots and they don’t know what they’re doing. In hindsight, of course he can give them my number, I was just panicking and the whole interaction lasted no more than a minute, and then he was gone, he gave me stern peck and walk off clearly annoyed. He then whatsapped me saying ‘U were very rude!’, that’s the last interaction we had until 3 hours later when the wheeled him back at to the ward at which point he shouted ‘who let you in here?’ and said to the nurses I’m a tyrant and then asked me why I came back. That bit I’m fine with because he’d just had anaesthetic and I know it makes people weird.

AITA for being upset about feeling misunderstood, I don’t know why I’m struggling to let this go. My partner says I’m forgiven but insists I was out of order and if I bring it up he gets extremely angry, says I’m insane for wanting to go over it again and most recently that I make him sick. I just want to feel like he gets why I was thinking that way, I think it comes down to there being many other situations where my feelings are not validated but he’s the one that’s just surgery, I do feel like I must be the areshole for even letting this bother me at all.

Just to note I did apologise to the nurse as well because he said I was rude and I have been taking great care of him. I don’t feel like its resolved but I definitely do not want to bring it up ever again either so just need to let it go.