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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Used-Degree1860 on 2023-09-30 18:24:26.

We have a nanny who comes to look after my little ones (age 2 and 4) three times a week. She arrives in the morning when I leave for work (8am) and leaves when me or my husband gets home (5-6pm). She’s been quite good with the kids which is fine, but the only problem is she’s making herself at home too much in my opinion.

The first problem is that she’ll randomly leave things at our place overnight, such as a coat or a car seat or something like that. She’ll also sometimes put small bits of food in our fridge and leave it there overnight when she’s coming the next day.

But what irks me the most is the dogs. She has two dogs, one is a chocolate labrador and the other is a great dane. I really don’t like dogs, originally I said she couldn’t bring them with her when she asked. One day she “had to” bring them because her garden was being landscaped, so I let her, but told her to keep them outside. Well, since then she’s just kept bringing them. I didn’t say anything since it wasn’t really that big of a deal and not worth the hassle.

Incrementally she’s letting them get away with more and more. She first was tying them up to the fence, then she started letting them run free in the yard. Then one time it was raining and she called me asking if it was ok for them to come in the house for a bit and just stay in the kitchen. And now they’re just let free reign.

It’s in terms of the dogs that I’m really feeling she’s just making herself too much at home. I’ll find random chewed up tennis balls in the yard, and she’s set up a couple of metal bowls near the back door. The other day I found a bag of dog treats in the pantry that I’m assuming are hers. Probably the worst of all is that she obviously takes them out to do their business (I don’t even want to think about all the dog doo-doo that would be in my yard) and bags the poop. But then she leaves the poop by the front door next to her handbag and dog leashes. So I normally come home to a few of these bright green bags of her dog doo-doo at my front door. It’s just so gross.

I want to say something to her, but my husband is telling me not to. He’s saying that we need her to look after the kids, and that it’d come across as offensive to tell her that. He said its just minor things and to not really worry about it, we only need her until the kids are school age anyway. He’s quite serious and we’ve been arguing over it quite a bit.

WIBTA for telling her to stop making herself so much at home? I feel like she’s just done it bit-by-bit so we didn’t really notice, but looking back she’s basically starting to slot into the household.

Edit: should be WIBTA instead of AITA