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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Melodic-Indication47 on 2023-09-30 15:45:31.
the guy i’ve been seeing for awhile has been consistently asking to have sex, but i’ve been very upfront in not being ready and have turned him down every time. this has upset him in the past, but he’d been pretty understanding thus far.
last night, he came over to my place and we hung out like normal. we did the standard kissing but then he said to take my clothes off, hinting at sex. i told him it felt rushed and that i wasn’t sure i was ready, but he told me that i was overthinking and insisted i just needed to do it. i never said yes but we ended up doing it. i was silent during it and was crying partly bc i knew it wasn’t right in addition to it being painful. he saw me crying and i told him it was bc it hurt, but he kept going. i pushed him back, but i didn’t say stop or no. i felt extremely detached and had little to no pleasure from beginning to end.
anyways, idk what to think. i feel so guilty and unhappy both with the situation and myself. does anyone know how i can better deal with these feelings. i’m uncomfortable sharing this with friends so any advice or personal experience would be very appreciated. thank you