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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Effective-Bug-2443 on 2023-09-30 20:37:37.

I (F24) have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over 3 years. We had planned to move in together once we both had jobs ( we were studying before this). He got a job around two months back.

My family is very traditional. They had issues with us moving in together before marriage. But we wanted to live together a few years before getting married. Only compromise we could reach was to have a engagement and party in lieu of wedding. We found a apartment and they wanted us to move in quickly and engagement was also hence expediated. My party is planned for next week, everything is booked. I am a only child and my parents are extremely scared of dying without seeing my weding, so this party is important to them and will be huge.

My cousin had her wedding planned for a long time. We were waiting for her brother, who works abroad to get leave to decide a date. He informed a week ago that he will be coming in 10 days and will have 30 day leave.

Problem is it is hard to find a good venue and make all arrangements within these few days. She asked if I could give her my party to hold her wedding. She / her parents will pay for it.

I said no. I planned every aspect of thia party tailored to my visions. Its going to be huge. If I hand it over, I can’t plan something like this without it seeming like a copy. And then it won’t be the same. Also, our apartment lease starts tomorrow. Longer we push it, longer we are wasting money. In addition to all this, I don’t want to wait any longer.

She got mad at me for refusing saying a wedding is more important than a engagement party. That I am younger than her and can wait longer for a party.

I said this is important to my family. I am sorry she don’t have much time to plan a wedding but I don’t want to sacrifice my day.

Her parents asked mine and they said the same. Sorry but no.

Now her entire family is mad at me saying my party is going go overshadow hers and I am a selfish cold hearted person.

AITA?