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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Thick-Price5341 on 2023-10-01 13:42:02.

My (29f) friend, let’s call her Emily (32f) is an amazing person - she’s fun, adventurous, intelligent, super active, a fantastic cook, outgoing and just a great girl to be around. A few years ago she decided not to shave anymore (legs, armpits, female areas) out of protest to the patriarchy, resulting in her having very long dark hair everywhere.

A few days ago, we were having a beer and she told me how sad her dating life was, that she kept meeting guys and having very fun dates but never got a call back or when she tried asking for a second or third date, got rejected in a very generic manner. Now after telling her “you’re so gorgeous and wonderful, the right man will come don’t worry” multiple times, I decided to go out on a limb and said something along the lines of “I know this is a very superficial thing to say, but do you think it might help a little if you would shave?“

She was very taken aback and told me she was disappointed I would suggest she change her appearance for men and that I was the reason so many women were suppressed. I immediately apologized but the evening was pretty much ruined. I texted her the next day apologizing again for hurting her but she hasn’t replied.

I really did not want to hurt her but I also don’t quite see how my comment was that bad so I am not sure how to phrase my apology. So decided to take it here and ask people here how big of an AH I am.