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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/BurtMaclinsWife on 2023-10-01 15:03:55.

My husband and I have been arguing about the mental load I carry and his general “incompetence” for years now. I have tried gently to explain that he constantly half asses everything he does when it comes to caring for our children and our home. I’ve shown, explained, directed, made notes and lists and nothing works. I told him it feels like weaponized incompetence at this point and he seemed hurt. He says he “genuinely” doesn’t know what he is doing wrong. For example, yesterday was my day to sleep in (barely since my little one has baseball at 9am), so I got up to take a shower while he took care of the kids. He comes into the bathroom right after I get out and asks what little one needs to wear, I stood and stared at him in disbelief. Little one has been playing sports for the better part of 2 years and always wears nearly the same outfit. I asked him if he was serious and he instantly was offended. I said what would you wear to baseball? Trying get him to come to his own conclusion, but no, he continued to not have a clue what to dress our kid in. I finally caved and, with an attitude said, “a tshirt, shorts and a sweatshirt are you serious?” He was so upset because of my attitude he stormed out and said he just needed help and why can’t I be a nice normal person. I yelled back NOBODY TOLD ME WHAT HE NEEDED TO WEAR TO BASEBALL!!! I’m just so sick of feeling like I’m married to an imbecile or a manipulator. I just don’t know what to say anymore. This probably sounds mild but it’s just a constant barrage of “I don’t know how” or “where is this” or “I didn’t know”, or finding my jeans stuffed into my pajama drawer because he “DoEsNt kNoW wHeRe ThEy gO”. Even though I have kept them in the same drawer for 6 years. Ugh, just over it.