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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/supernova2424 on 2023-10-01 11:48:06.


My Dad passed away from cancer leaving my Mom on her own. She has schizophrenia and he was her main caretaker. After he passed he left my uncle in charge of his estate. He also ended up being in charge of my Mom’s care and finances.

Two to three months after my Dad’s passing my Uncle wanted to put my Mom in an assisted living home. I had concerns about this as it was new for her and i felt like he was moving too quickly after my Dad’s death. When I asked why he wanted to move her out he said it was because of her finances. I was not informed on her estate planning or finances so I asked if he could sit me down and explain everything. He ended up shutting my request down and said it was not any of my business.

I asked my Mom if she wanted me involved and she said yes. Afterwards I ended up hiring an attorney to inform me on her estate planning. It turns out there was a trust my Uncle was in charge of where both my Mom and I were beneficiaries. He never informed me that i was beneficiary. Had I not went out of my way to get involved i’m not sure he would have told me.

It was frustrating to find I was a beneficiary and that i was left of the dark. It was also a hard position to be in where my Uncle was shutting me out of the decision-making process of my Mom’s care and well-being in addition to be informed.

I was only 24 at the time but hiring an attorney seemed like the right thing to do. I’m my parents only child. I was my dad’s poa when he got sick so it was not regular for me not to be involved in their affairs. I also had concerns about what role I might have to play in my mom’s future. It was unclear if I would have to financial support her in some way or act as a caretaker if something happened to him.

Anyway hiring a lawyer ended up causing drama and uncle thinks I’m asshole for creating problems by asserting myself into what was going on. He suggested that he knew what was my best and it was not my place to get involved in what happens to my Mom. AITA for doing so?