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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/AnonUser65432 on 2023-10-01 15:37:59.

My (39F) husband (41M) has a successful online business. He attends a marketing convention every year which is 15 minutes from our house, & this year he’s flying in his 7 remote staff members to attend the conference with him. A few months ago, he asked me what I thought if he rented an Air BNB for him & his staff to stay in, so I said “uhh, I think that’s fine. The only reason I’d be uncomfortable with it is if there were women staying in the house as well.” Well, later that evening, we brought the topic up again, & he said yes some of them are women, so I said no. The conversation was dropped, but then a few months later he says he’s spending the night there & that he told me about it. I told him even if he did, that I certainly didn’t remember, because I would have told him again that I wasn’t comfortable with it. The main reason I’m uncomfortable is because I don’t think it’s a good idea legally for him to stay at an Air BNB with female employees (there are two unmarried Fs in their mid-20’s on his staff). The reward doesn’t outweigh the risk of any perceived sexual harassment issues, in my mind. The Air BNB is only 20 minutes away from our own house. He’s able to stay at the house hanging out with them as long as he wants. I just ask that he came home to sleep.

So the team arrives, everything is going fine, H & his team are going to the conference together, hanging out until all hours in the evening, & then coming home to sleep. H dropped a lot of money for a VIP tour at a major amusement park for the last day, & he wanted me to come too. Two nights before that scheduled outing, I get a fb message from one of his employees (F), asking if I could spend the night at the AirBNB the night before the outing. In the morning, H admits that he told his employees that I wasn’t comfortable with him spending the night, & how about she (the F) should message me to try & convince me. I about flew off the handle. He totally threw me under the bus, & he didn’t even tell them it was because of legal reasons. Also, I saw this as a complete breach in privacy & trust between a H & a W. I write a very nice reply explaining the reason, & she responds “oh, I hadn’t thought of it that way, makes sense!”. Apparently the next morning, she reads my message aloud in the car with everyone in it (including my H). Which, I’m somewhat glad for (since now everyone knows the reason), but also, how awkward for everyone.

Today is the day of the VIP event. I rearranged my entire schedule beforehand to be able to go to this, & now I just feel the entire thing is so awkward. H is very apologetic about the whole thing, really wants me to go the VIP event today. I know he wants me to go to be with me, but another part of me knows it’s because if I DON’T show up today, then that will & more fuel to the gossip fire among his employees. I just don’t want to be the butt of a joke. AITA in any of this situation? Am I overreacting?