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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/throw_thebeergirl on 2023-10-02 00:13:23.


I (28F) work as an apprentice at a local brewery and am an aspiring brewmaster. I’ve somewhat earned the reputation of being “the beer girl” in my social circles, (which I have mixed feelings about, but I digress).

Recently, my partner Rob (28M) and I discovered that we are pregnant. We’re not flashy people and don’t necessarily want our announcement of our pregnancy to be a BIG event, but as of right now, only Rob’s mom knows because we agreed we’re not quite ready to open up the floodgates yet.

Rob and I are good friends with another couple, Dana (26F) and Todd (27M). This past Saturday, Dana had a birthday party. It was something of a big, intensely orchestrated occasion, with many guests, planned games, and food.

Around midway through the night, I was chatting with Todd and Dana, and Todd brought out a large crowler which, according to him, contained the “best festbier [he] had ever had.” He urged me to try it.

I told him no, that’s okay, I don’t feel like drinking tonight. Todd knew this was out of character for me though, especially this season, and continued insisting I try some.

Todd was being kind of loud, and other people started turning their attention towards our interaction. At this point I was getting flustered and started losing control of my social skills (I have severe social anxiety and bad at thinking on the spot), and somehow, I ended up just blurting out that I was pregnant.

Silence. One good friend finally broke the silence with an “Oh my gosh, congratulations!” The collective conversation at that point became about my pregnancy, people asking about due date, etc. I could see from all the way across the room Rob eyeing me, looking rather disappointed.

Meanwhile, Dana’s mood inmediately dropped. For the rest of the party, she displayed a sour, withdrawn demeanor, despite Todd trying to continue the games that they had planned. Finally, at the end of the night, while we were eating cake, Dana suddenly got up and left abruptly to go out on her deck,. Todd followed her. You could hear the muffled sound of her ranting/crying about something, all squeal-y and distressed, Todd attempting and failing to comfort her.

On the way home, Rob and I had a big fight. He said he couldn’t believe I thought it was okay to announce our pregnancy like that, especially without him. I tried to explain that there was a big part of the conversation that he didn’t see, but in response, he says I could have made a million other excuses instead of resorting to the pregnancy. He accused me of being attention-seeking and just looking for the first opportunity I could find to turn the “spotlight” on myself. From there, things between us exploded.

So basically, Rob and Dana are absolutely furious with me. Todd meanwhile, over texts to Rob, has been much more understanding, but Rob says it’s just because Todd is kind of an easygoing dude and can’t empathize with why something like this would matter to Dana. So Reddit, AITA?

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    11 year ago

    I gotta say I’m on Team Todd here: be easygoing, be unoffenfed by another person’s pregnancy. In fact, just don’t invent reasons to suffer over literally nothing.

    Rob and Dana should get married and move to a war zone or something so their level of bellyaching can be reflected by some actual external events.

    This is the most ridiculous nothingburger of a situation I’ve ever seen. Whoever gives even the slightest fuck that you announced your pregnancy at a birthday party needs to be gone from your life immediately.