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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/No-Candidate-6042 on 2023-10-02 04:32:14.

I (15F) have a brother (16M) who is autistic. He is a year older but he was held back so we’re in the same grade. Ever since I was little, I’ve felt like I don’t really matter and the only reason my parents had me was for my brother to have a friend. To be clear, I’m not neglected or abused, but my parents expect me to build my entire life around my brother. When I was younger, they would always force me to do whatever my brother wants because we had to do everything together. When I wanted to learn piano and he wanted to do karate, we both had to do karate. When my friends invited me to playdates, I could only go if he could too.

When I was really little, my parents would basically just force the other parents to take him, but as I got older, I just stopped going anywhere because I didn’t want to take my brother with me. To make things worse, we moved when we were in sixth grade and it was almost impossible for me to make new friends because my brother was with me all the time. Middle school was also horrible because 7th grade was online and my brother was constantly clinging to me in 8th, Once we got to high school I just stopped caring about what my parents said and did whatever I wanted.

My “rebellion” mostly consisted of joining leadership and a bunch of clubs. I made lots of friends and started hanging out with them. My parents very clearly expressed their disapproval but they weren’t going to lock me up to stop me from doing things without my brother. I love my brother, but being forced to share my whole life with him as a kid has made me deeply resent him. He has no friends so he just sits in his room pretty much all the time. Whenever I go out with my friends or go to extracurricular events he throws huge tantrums. I feel bad for him but I’m sick of being his constant unwilling companion and there is nothing I can do to help him.

My parents always take his side and try to make me feel bad for living my life. Our latest conflict was about homecoming. I’m a princess and I’m really excited because I couldn’t go last year because I was sick. My brother asked a girl to go with him but she rejected him so he’s really upset and wants me to not go because he’s not going. Today there was a picnic to kick off homecoming week and he didn’t go but when I got back he threw a huge tantrum when I left and was still crying when I got back hours later because he doesn’t want me to go to homecoming.

My parents asked if I could just not go but I told them that I don’t really care if my brother doesn’t like it and he can’t control my whole life. They said his mental health is suffering because he has no friends and doesn’t have the best grades and watching me have fun and do great at school isn’t helping. I told them that his mental health is not my problem and I’m going to homecoming whether they like it or not. My brother is still crying in his room and didn’t come out to eat dinner. AITA?