This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/chaiselounge_76 on 2023-10-02 15:23:46.

Hi, I’m separated with a 19 year-old son.

My husband works in engineering and was a generally level-headed person. He had some depression and anxiety issues, which led to me moving out during the pandemic.

I tried to develop more interests and stay active at that time, which included working out. I befriended my personal trainer, and after a year or so, she began to include me in her social circle.

For the last few years, I became healthier, came out of my shell, caught up on fun activities like dancing, meeting people, etc. Today, I am in very good shape, have a variety of friends, and sometimes get mistaken for being in my 30s.

My question comes from the fact that my son occasionally stays over at my apartment, even though he’s in residence at college, and more often visits his father at the house.

The issue is that my lifestyle has changed since we all lived in the same home.

Among other things, I am busier, wear more flattering or “active” clothes, drink socially or will try pot with friends, and date casually.

These activities have caused awkwardness with my son, even though he will not have a direct conversation about it.

Most recently, he showed up intending to spend the weekend at my apartment. This was a surprise, as my friend was already there hanging out with me.

Because my friend is a 26 year-old guy, it led to a tense conversation about whether we can have “normal” visits anymore.

I said that no one should decide what’s “normal” for me, including my son, and asked him how we could make the situation better.

He refused to explain his feelings or make any suggestions, stormed off, and has been radio silent since then.

I wonder if anyone has dealt with similar situations? I feel happier, healthier, and more confident than I have in many years.

What is there to do if this becomes “upsetting” for my adult child, especially when my attempts to talk about it are met with anger and silence. Have I done something wrong, aka, AITA?