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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/1stanleynickel on 2023-10-02 16:18:42.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 4 years and we’ve lived together for a little over 2. I’ve seen the way he treats people he thinks don’t matter, like people he doesn’t know or have personal interest in. He’s not always kind, and occasionally I’ve seen his temper flare and he turns on me. He can be very argumentative and defensive over very small things and it really feels like I’m talking to a teenager. I’m afraid of backlash from him. I don’t want to end the relationship with a terrible memory of him at the end.

I know it’s time to break up, but what’s killing me is having no idea how he will react. I realize I don’t owe him the opportunity to blow up at me and possibly say nasty things, but I feel terrible for moving out while he’s out of town and leaving a letter. I still love him on some level even though I know it’s not right for me being with him and it feels like a massive betrayal to shock him with this. I’ve told him recently that I don’t think we’re compatible and he gave me pushback. I know there’s no sense trying to convince him.

We also have a ring camera that I don’t want sending him notifications the whole time I’m moving out and I’m worried about that because he’s been keeping tabs on when I come and go. If I shut the Wi-Fi off will it continue to record footage?

I haven’t left yet, I’m planning to do it the end of this week. I guess I’m looking for advice, tips, validation, and anyone’s experience who has done a similar thing. I’m not thinking very clearly due to the stress and anxiety lately.