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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/SiblingTroubleTA on 2023-10-03 02:10:36.

Hi. I’d appreciate some advice as I found myself in a dangerous stalker situation about a decade ago and I don’t know how to navigate my current situation or know whether or not I’m overreacting.

I’d like to preface this by saying I’ve recently gotten fit and am working on building my self-esteem. (I’m also trying not to include too much detail but struggle with brevity)

2ish Friday’s ago I (34F) was in the hot tub at my apartment complex stretching a sore hip from running. As I got out, a man (45M) who had joined struck up a convo (I had been listening to a YouTube video). I stayed an additional 20-30 mins chatting and gave him my number before heading back to my apartment. He texted me shortly after and asked if he could take me out that weekend. I said I was busy Saturday but Sunday afternoon would work. He said he couldn’t stop thinking about our conversation, our meeting was fate, etc. and he was looking forward to it. He then called and we talked another 15 mins on the phone (aka, he talked at me more or less).

The next morning I wake up to a “good morning” text about 2 hours before I woke up followed by an offer to give me glutamine powder to help my sore hip. I woke up, said hi and declined the offer. He asks how I’m doing and I ask the same to be polite. In regards to hanging out the next day he texts, “We can do something like a run this morning or SUP, but I really want to cover a lot of ground this weekend.”

I tell him I am meeting with friends for the day and he asks if he can call me. I said I’d call him once I finished my coffee and on the phone he proceeded to talk AT me about our chemistry, my ambition/career, blah blah… I end the convo and head to meet my friends. At the end of each phone call he texts along the lines of “great conversation!” Eye roll…

Until this point I figured he was just enthused and would decide if it was worth pursuing after hanging out the following day. However during the day with my friends his texts continue, asking my myers brigg type and basically everything I say is met with a compliment. I ignore him most of the day and send a quick note once I am home explaining I had been busy and would talk to him tomorrow. He asks if he can call and I nicely say no, I am going to bed.

Sunday morning wake to more texts asking how I slept etc. before 8am. By 10 he asks if everything is okay. At this point I am realizing I don’t like this, I don’t care if we are soulmates, it is foreshadowing as way too much for me. I also recognize we live in the same complex and need to extract myself from this situation because I like where I live. I am beyond overwhelmed.

I text back: “I’m sorry for the delay but I’m not ready for this intensity (not just this morning). I hope you understand and perhaps I’ll see you around.” I would have said more but given our other conversations, I knew he would do all the talking to try and change my mind and my mind was made up.

To save space, I screen-shotted his next texts here. I have not responded at all.

At this point I’m planning to completely avoid the pool area forever but am hopeful that his last message (5 days ago) says he will respect my decision.

I open instagram today after work and see he has sent me a friend request. My handle is my full name which I never shared with him but understand he could probably determine from my phone number. I am officially freaked out.

Funny thing is that I was proud of myself for recognizing the red flags before getting too involved but apparently it was still too late. Best case scenario he doesn’t realize how much he’s being a creep. I’d like to reject the request and block him but will that be enough?

Either way, how do I ask him to leave me alone without antagonizing??

Why are men like this?? (Thankfully not all men…)