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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Hopeful_Regret91194 on 2023-10-02 22:08:52.

I have been with my husband for twenty years. He was only 19 and so we’ve done all our growing up as adults together. For the past few months I have been sleeping in a different room. I can’t seem to move past my trust and intimacy issues. Last year we went through a very bad spot and I finally got up the courage to tell him I wanted a divorce. The begging and promises commenced. I’m sure most of us know how that part goes, I decided to stay and try and work things out. Now fast forward one year exactly and I find a chat thread with him and some woman on fetlife ( he accidentally saved it to his phone the year prior). So while he was begging for me to stay he was chatting with another woman! He says this is just cathartic for him and he would never actualy cheat on me, but I’m torn. He is always accusing me of things I’m not doing and is very jealous.

Also, the reason I went through his phone is because I found out he was lying about going to the strip club. This is disturbing because I don’t care and never have, so why lie?!