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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/tmrtdc3 on 2023-10-03 06:37:36.

I was just going though the AskReddit thread about common ‘Redditisms’ (common Reddit-specific behaviors) and I noticed one top comment complaining about how the relationship advice given on this website is often to break up or tell someone they’ve been gaslit or they’ve been sexually assaulted or abused, and this is bad advice that shouldn’t be given. (Paraphrasing what that user said, not me.)

I feel like I’ve noticed this a lot on Reddit – when people complain about the relationship advice given on here and how users are too eager to describe something as abuse or recommend that the person who posted break up or leave the relationship or whatever. But – this is actually often great advice. There are tons of posts on here that describe abusive, dangerous situations with gaslighting, emotional abuse, manipulation, sexual assault, and other horrible things involved. The first response literally should be “You need to get out.” And maybe a hotter take – even if a relationship isn’t flat-out horrible, there’s no reason to stay in a relationship that is still bad. Like where you’re basically parenting your partner, or you do all the household labor, or you give plenty but receive no sexual pleasure, etc. It’s totally acceptable to tell people and especially women in relationships to leave their partners. In fact it should be encouraged. And it should be totally acceptable to identify creepy age gaps in these relationships as a contributing factor, which a lot of Redditors also – predictably – get angry about.

Idk, personally I find it really suspicious that there’s a large contingent of Redditors who seem hell-bent that women stay in shitty and often abusive relationships and then get angry at the other users who give advice telling women to leave these kinds of relationships. Yes, reserving judgment on a situation is often a smart idea, and no, we don’t know other people’s lives, but we usually have the details we need and the experience to identify red flags and patterns that others don’t. You’re not being measured or smart or wise or enlightened by telling people to stay in bad relationships. You’re either really naive, or you have a despicable agenda.