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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/aglmamma on 2023-10-03 14:30:28.

For context, we’ve been together for 8 years and we have two children (5 & 3). I’m at my wits end with how sexual he is in the morning. I don’t know if the problem is me or him. Every morning is never “Good morning babe” it’s “I wanna fuck” as soon as I open my fucking eyes. I hate being woken up so aggressively and I’ve told him I hate the way he approaches sex. I’m so overstimulated being with the kids and having to take on the mental load of being the default parent. Mornings are a lot for me because I have to make everyone breakfast and get everyone ready and out the door on time. Everyone is demanding something of me as soon as I wake up. So I am never in the mood for sex in the morning. In fact I dread waking up in the morning. I’m so sick of him waking me up by slapping my ass or touching my boobs or putting his hand in my underwear. I told him I want to be woken up softly because I already hate mornings. Kiss my forehead, rub my head, say “good morning”. Just be considerate of me and not your penis first thing in the morning. We argue over this one thing allll the tiiiime. He says he gets it and he’ll try to stop but the next morning is the same fucking shit again. I say no I’m not in the mood and he goes in a strop and locks himself in the toilet. Every fucking morning. He just ruins my day with his constant juvenile moodiness. He’s in charge of taking my eldest to school in the morning. He never takes it seriously and it stresses me out because he’s always late to school. This morning he asked me for sex 20 mins before he had to start school. Why can’t he fucking understand that my brain will not even want sex if I have to have sex with someone who puts his dick before his child’s education.

Another thing he does that I hate is he’ll just wanna whip out my boob and start sucking my nipples whenever he likes. I like to be mentally stimulated first. We can talk about our relationship, sex, our goals. Go on dates, spend some quality time together. I’m not the sort of girl that wants to jump straight into sex because my brain is shut off to sex because of all of my responsibilites. If I had nothing else to worry about maybe it would be different. I’ve told him a million and one times, if having sex like that is so important to you then pleaaaaase go and find the girl that is willing to give that to you. Don’t make my life miserable expecting me to all of a sudden change my mind when you make no effort to make me horny in the way I would like. He says he doesn’t want anyone else and that he only wants me. And I tell him “Well then you have to work for the things you want. If you want sex from ME, then you have to do what it takes”. I’m not some Tinder date that will drop her pants whenever he likes.

Other than this one incredibly aggravating issue, he is a great person and a great dad. But he REALLY lacks emotional intelligence He just doesn’t seem to realise that his moods effect everyone, and it’s his job to fulfill himself in non sexual ways, like work on your goals, organise your life. He hates hearing it from me but wouldn’t listen to anyone else if they told him the same thing 😡 Side note: He’s just gone to the GP yesterday to go on the waiting list for counselling. I’m going to tell him that if he doesn’t take it seriously, then I wont marry him.

Thank you for reading up until now ❤️

TL;DR My fiancé keeps waking me up to sex even though I’ve asked him not to multiple times. Then gets upset when I reject him.